southerndrawer
southerndrawer:

limeybirder:

Tremble before the Terror Bird a giant Cenozoic feathered badass with an 18 inch beak capable of tearing you several new ass holes. YO, SyFy Channel, get on it bitches!
Terrorcane: the pussies are first!
Giant Terrorbirds brought back to life by Bermuda Triangle hurricane and unleashed on Miami’s cat loving community.

Is this at UF?? It looks just like the exhibit at our natural history museum

Yes sir

southerndrawer:

limeybirder:

Tremble before the Terror Bird a giant Cenozoic feathered badass with an 18 inch beak capable of tearing you several new ass holes. YO, SyFy Channel, get on it bitches!

Terrorcane: the pussies are first!

Giant Terrorbirds brought back to life by Bermuda Triangle hurricane and unleashed on Miami’s cat loving community.

Is this at UF?? It looks just like the exhibit at our natural history museum

Yes sir

National park bears sought alternative employment during gov shutdown.

Degrading!

"Jimmy "two tails" Nutkins told old ‘arry, you know ‘arry Nibbles from the pecan grove right.."

"Gammy eye?

"yeah he’s got a twitchy eye. Lost it to an owl last autumn. anyways Nibbles told Jimmy that it’s a Zombie Apocalypse."

"A ZOMBIE Whaaaa?"

"Yeah, you know night o’ the living dead, eat yer brains out, dead people eatin’ each other n’ stuff."

"Fuck me, is he sure? I mean he’s got a gimpy eye an’ all."

"Well Jimmy said he saw that hot Park Ranger, whasser name, yer know the blonde with the big macadamias…"

"Ranger Dolly?"

"Yeah that’s her"

"She can polish me nuts anytime, yer know what I mean"

"Get in line you perv! Anyways Jimmy saw Dolly eatin’ the stable boy!"

"Eatin’ him? You mean she was working on his pickled pepper?"

"No you twat! She was fuckin’ eatin’ him, like a pork fuckin’ chop mates"

"Poor bastard. So Dolly’s a fuckin’ zombie then?"

" Sounds like it"

"What a waste"

"Anyways that’s why we ain’t seen anyone fer 2 fuckin’ weeks. The ole human race is fuckin’ dead. Zombies…every last one of ‘em!"

"That’s bollocks. Fuckin’ zombies? Sharon from the valley said the gates to the park are closed. Somethin’ about the federal government being shut down."

"If the government is shut down why was Dolly fuckin’ macadamias eatin’ the stable boy smart alec?"

"Well I dunno don’t fuckin’ shoot the messenger mate."

"Anyways, either way I miss the stupid two legged fuckers, they always left decent grub lying around the campsite."

"Tough times mates, tough times"

"Jimmy "two tails" Nutkins told old ‘arry, you know ‘arry Nibbles from the pecan grove right.."

"Gammy eye?

"yeah he’s got a twitchy eye. Lost it to an owl last autumn. anyways Nibbles told Jimmy that it’s a Zombie Apocalypse."

"A ZOMBIE Whaaaa?"

"Yeah, you know night o’ the living dead, eat yer brains out, dead people eatin’ each other n’ stuff."

"Fuck me, is he sure? I mean he’s got a gimpy eye an’ all."

"Well Jimmy said he saw that hot Park Ranger, whasser name, yer know the blonde with the big macadamias…"

"Ranger Dolly?"

"Yeah that’s her"

"She can polish me nuts anytime, yer know what I mean"

"Get in line you perv! Anyways Jimmy saw Dolly eatin’ the stable boy!"

"Eatin’ him? You mean she was working on his pickled pepper?"

"No you twat! She was fuckin’ eatin’ him, like a pork fuckin’ chop mates"

"Poor bastard. So Dolly’s a fuckin’ zombie then?"

" Sounds like it"

"What a waste"

"Anyways that’s why we ain’t seen anyone fer 2 fuckin’ weeks. The ole human race is fuckin’ dead. Zombies…every last one of ‘em!"

"That’s bollocks. Fuckin’ zombies? Sharon from the valley said the gates to the park are closed. Somethin’ about the federal government being shut down."

"If the government is shut down why was Dolly fuckin’ macadamias eatin’ the stable boy smart alec?"

"Well I dunno don’t fuckin’ shoot the messenger mate."

"Anyways, either way I miss the stupid two legged fuckers, they always left decent grub lying around the campsite."

"Tough times mates, tough times"

Suicide rates in national park bear populations on the rise as Federal Government shutdown enters its third week!

Bear spokesperson Chase Mee stated, “we think the bears are just bored out of their fucking minds. There’s like no stupid moron tourists leaving tasty snacks for them to eat. A bear has to work extra hard to find regular bear food to prepare for the harsh winter months and acorns taste like shit. They’re sick of eating that crap and are bored of it. Those fucking tea baggers have got a lot to answer for.”

Bear expert Ursa Miner said, “if this doesn’t end soon there’ll be no bears left.”

Trouble at Great Smoky Mountains National Park 

Unhappy Ungulate Ejected from Cades Cove!

Spokesperson for the Deer Against Hunters Movement (DAHM) Bambi Doecile stated, “we just want to graze on Bidens juicy stems. It’s peak season for this pretty flower and without the nourishment it provides we fear we may not survive the winter.”

We contacted Dept. Of Interior officials but they were unavailable for comment due to budget constraints.

Park caretaker, T. B. Agger stated, “I fought in the Korean War, I didn’t spill blood for my country so these free loaders could come here willy nilly and eat all our flowers. Ship ‘em all out I say!”

The debate continues…

Trouble at Great Smoky Mountains National Park

Unhappy Ungulate Ejected from Cades Cove!

Spokesperson for the Deer Against Hunters Movement (DAHM) Bambi Doecile stated, “we just want to graze on Bidens juicy stems. It’s peak season for this pretty flower and without the nourishment it provides we fear we may not survive the winter.”

We contacted Dept. Of Interior officials but they were unavailable for comment due to budget constraints.

Park caretaker, T. B. Agger stated, “I fought in the Korean War, I didn’t spill blood for my country so these free loaders could come here willy nilly and eat all our flowers. Ship ‘em all out I say!”

The debate continues…